Another dream

Yesterday I posted that I had a very intense, kind of scary dream. But there was alot of interesting symbolism. I need to study but I want to express this so that I can focus a little better.

In the dream, me and a person who I mention all the time was in the bed. All of a sudden they said that they knew that I was having their baby. He kept repeating this as if he was angry that I was trying to hide it. But I was confused because I was not pregnant. Then he began to choke me and he said that he was going to kill me. I got out of the grasp somehow and bolted out of the house butt naked! He was chasing after me, like on my tail and I was so frightened for my life. I ended up busting the windows out of someone's house, broke in the house and grabbed a phone to call 911. He was still real close, I was really fearing for my life. I kept calling 911 and was running all throughout the neighborhood hiding from him. Eventually the police came and told me that they found him sleeping and woke him up. He then killed himself and an innocent bystander.

Now that dream had me like huh? I woke up concerned about him. I knew that there was alot of underlying themes in that dream so I analyzed it myself.

One thing that I noticed is that he had alot of agression in this dream. This person is pretty laidback, but underneath that coolness is an agressive dude (He has his moon in Aries).

In the dream, he was so upset that I was hiding that fact that I was having his baby. I was confused in the dream bc I was not pregnant. But when you think about it, when a women is pregnant, a baby is growing and developing inside. Right now I feel like I am growing and developing alot. This year has been very transformative for me, especially after meeting this person.

He was very upset that I was hiding this so called "baby"...it was as if, since you are hiding the fact that "you are having my baby" I am going to kill you by choking you. When you dream about being choked, you feel like you are supressing your feelings or feel restricted about expressing how you truly feel. When you are choking someone, normally they have brought up an issue that is hard for you to face or express...you are frustrated by it.

I was being chased in the dream. That normally means that you are running away from whatever is chasing you. You feel like it is impossible to conquer so you run away from it. When you are chasing something, you are trying to face an difficult obstacle. He was chasing after me.

To dream about murder, suicide, killing means a few things. Him trying to kill me represents trying to cut off emotional tides with something. Suicide means that so many things are overwhelming, maybe the person feels guilty or depressed about something and turns all the blame on themselves. What is interesting is that he was asleep and woke up before the suicide. To me that is like having a personal "awakening" and death in a dream represent the old part of yourself is gone and you are starting new.

This breakdown is very releveant to me. I do feel like my emotions are being supressed bc I feel like I can't express it. I do think that I opened a whole can of worms on this guy and although I don't know his reaction, I know its probably hard for him to discuss it. I do feel vulnerable and that this situation can be hard to conquer but I am trying my best to "deal with it". I felt like I was trying to face it so its interesting how I was running away...I guess maybe I have not really faced anything yet. He was chasing me trying to choke me. I think that represents having a hard time facing fears and he wanted to keep me from revealing it, but at the same time there is a desire to face it. Its a inner power struggle going on with him. He ends up killing himself to me that represents an old part of him dying and a new him is going to reveal itself.

I swear this dude is my shadow and I am his. I just have to accept things for what they are.