I was thinking about that as I woke up in the middle of the night....
The reason why I began blogging was because I had so much on my mind and felt like I could not express everything to just one person. Over the summer alot of things mentally for me was transitioning and I found myself trying to find answers for why I was feeling the way I was feeling. I believe I mentioned in previous blogs that meeting someone triggered that in my opinion.
Since I am good at expressing myself with words, I decided to began a blog to have sort of an outlet you know. I sometimes read my old blogs and see how even though it has only been like 4 or 5 months, how I have changed my views on many things...how I am evolving. One thing about me, is that my mood change like every five minutes...lol. I am very influenced by my moods...I am what you call a feeler and is probably why I prefer small groups and absolute silence. I am very very sensitive to sound and people's energy. I am a INFP...Introverted Intuitive Feeling Percieving...They are considered the Idealist healer and its quite accurate. Its like there is a great sense of putting yourself in other people shoes without being biased, a drive to help people and make the world a better place (as cheesy as that sounds), and avoid conflict at all cost.
I am getting off topic...the point I am trying to make is that my feelings were all over the place and I had to realize that people energy's are just as strong as mine and I can pick it up a mile away. I am still learning to distinguish my feelings from others. I mean like for example one time, I was texting a friend and all of a sudden I was thinking about something and felt like I wanted to cry! I had no reason to want to cry...come to find out something was really bothering my friend.
All in all, these past few months many thoughts and beliefs that I have are changing and will continue to change...and alot of it has to do with my mood changing like the season...
Not that many people read my blog, I only gave my link out to a few people I knew and the online community that I am part of can have access to it. But I have been thinking about one of the people I gave my link out too...
Sometimes I wonder was that really a good idea...lol. The way this person has been iggin me I should not be worried, but sometimes you never know...The ones that appear to have you out of their radar sometimes be the one that is secretly keeping tabs on you. I may just be a little paranoid.
I am just saying, I never had a person ignore me to this extreme. I should just let it go I know, but I am like damn...is it that bad. I have always been considered one of the easiest people to talk to. I find people telling me things that they don't tell just anybody. I guess what I am trying to say is that they have no reason to really avoid me, I am very open. Or maybe the texts that I sent them did strike a chord...I am not saying that I am 100 percent accurate when I am feeling people out but I sent them some text...well a series of texts that described what I sensed from them...lol. Knowing what I know from this person...if what I said was true, which I feel is, it probably made them uncomfortable. You know the type of person that likes to be in control, I have always sensed that from them. The more you know about them, the more they feel you have "to use against them"=less control. Let me stop...I need to be doing something along the lines of psychology or human behavior...lol.
I don't know, I am just one of those people that let it be known that I won't be talking to you...I don't do the passive agressive thing and ignore. But everybody seems to do that, except me. But hey, I texted my dad two weeks ago and he just got back to me, he has been busy which is understandable...so I know people are busy. I guess its bothering me bc I HATE being ignored and I try my best not to ignore people intentionally, I rather just let you know that we will not be talking on a regular.
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