Journey of the Soul

During my journey of becoming aware, I have had to face and (still facing) my ego. As I said in a past blog entry, Its something that we all are born with and it grows through time. Ego is not a bad thing, its part of you, but you should not allow it to take over to the point where it affects your relationship with others and most importantly the relationship with your self.

When I was having those dreams with alot of symbolism, one meaning of it represented getting back to a place of innnocence, being childlike. That place where you just see things for what they are and do not judge. God is just like that to me, accepts everyone for who they are. Nobody is put in boxes and labels are not made. It is just what it is. As a person gets older and go through experiences good and bad, we all know our innocence gets chipped away little by little. Sometimes to the point that we forget who we really are. Things such as doubt, fear, greed, selfishness gets in the way of relationships with others including ourselves.

But like Steve Gunn said:

I always say to people that i think God has a pretty cool way to wake us up to that and its through soul connections. The "soul shock" as i called it is just that. An electric bolt to wake us up from the prison of our mental consciousness and put us back in touch with the divine from where we came and where we return.

During those early stages for me I kept asking those questions of why why why? Like your younger sibling who wants to know everything and everybody.

Musiq soulchild love is the perfect song to describe what I have been going through.

Love
So many things I've got to tell you
But I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change...

We meet people for a reason and I met a person that triggered me to wake up. And yes I do believe the universe or God whatever terminology you like to use, set that up.

And many times at the drop of a hat, that same person person disappears. Then I started having dreams which triggered me to ask why why why? I wanted find the answers.

Many days I've longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your touch, your feel, your essence
Many nights I've cried from the things you do
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you
I know that you're real
With no doubts and no fears
And no questions

You go to a period of sadness and pain because that person is not here and you do not know why you want them there with you...they don't know you! Logic comes in and you try to forget because its just another person, they come and go...But you just can't shake it! But You know what you feel inside. That pain is part of the waking up process.

At first you didn't mean that much to me
But now I know that you're all I need
The world looks so brand new to me
Now that I found love
Everyday I live for you
And everything that I do
I do it for you
What I say is how I feel so believe it's true
You got to know I'm true

You go through the healing process which includes alot of self reflection. Looking within and discovering who you really are. Connecting closer to God. You learn uncondtional love...love without need because you seek it from yourself. You learn to have faith. You learn to trust yourself and to face all of your fears. You learn to accept things for what they are. How you view things is different from before and you know that you cannot go back to what that was.

Once you get to that point of acceptance, many times that same person that triggered you to start asking those questions why why why reconnect right back to you. Even if its not necessarily on a physical plane, its still in the heart...and you are ok with that.

Happiness comes from within a sense of purpose, a sense of being connected...oneness. And that oneness comes from a journey through want and need and pain to acceptance and unconditional love.
-Steve Gunn

God is Love :).