On November 24, 2019 I unexpectedly experienced a feeling peace about my daughter’s birth story. I knew that my experience was for my own personal healing however I had anger in my heart because it did not go as planned. Actually, it is not so unexpected because I have been doing a lot of forgiveness work and that feeling of peace came over me when I thought of it.
This was powerful for me because I did not want to share my story publicly until I had found my own peace. What I do find interesting about the experience is that I was able to experience both midwife at home experience and then the hospital. It was very insightful and I know that there is a deeper meaning behind why I experienced this.
I had a pretty easy and healthy pregnant despite the questions of me eating raw vegan throughout my whole pregnancy. I gained weight beautifully and my body did what it needed to do overall. My husband and I wanted a home birth experience and we had an awesome midwife and we prepared for the water birth of our baby at home. To anyone who wants to have a waterbirth at home, I encourage it, especially if you find a great midwife. I have learned so much from mine that has changed my outlook on many things including nutrition. I loved that she worked with different mothers from different walks of life and dietary preferences. She knew exactly what I needed and I followed the best way I could (which I feel like contributed to an easy pregnancy overall).
My daughter’s due date was October 4 2018 and she was born on October 1st 2018. From my own personal beliefs, I believe that our spirit chooses our lives and we forget it once we get into the physical world so that we can discover our true divine nature. We have free will to make choices on how it manifests but we can never avoid our call or our assignment. My daughter birth reminded me that I cannot control everything. I wholeheartedly believe that she made a choice to be born via C-section. Some may disagree but it’s okay because we all have our own beliefs and this is mine.
On September 30th my water broke early in the morning. The day before I went to the chiropractor for the first time (wish I would have started the earlier in my pregnancy). Sometime between my 38th week appointment and the time my water broke my daughter decided she wanted to flip to her bottom. I did not know until after my water broke and I was checked by midwife hours into labor. Somehow, she flipped to her bottom which is believable because she was moving A LOT before water broke. My girl was delivered on the day I was meant to have my 39 week appointment! She came at 39 weeks, 4 days. I did not want a C-section and we pushed for as long as my midwife deemed safe. I was tired and just wanted my baby at that point. She was delivered via cesarean and was so beautiful and healthy.
However, after being tested she had higher bilirubin levels (jaundice) than normal due to blood type incompatibility and she was under blue lights in NICU for 9 days…Yes 9 days….I was not thrilled to say the least. She had no other issues outside of that. I know that they were doing their own protocol but I still wasn’t happy about it. I had to learn how to advocate for myself and my daughter. I am grateful for the nurses who were awesome. They saw my dedication to get my baby home and I was even given a room to stay the last couple of nights after initially being declined a room to stay after being discharged. There were things that were done at the hospital that I was not so thrilled about however it was a learning lesson. Despite the unexpected events, I still breastfeed my baby and she nursed directly from my breast. I made sure I was at NICU every 2-3 hours to nurse her even at night. I stayed at that hospital until she came home. I only went home for showers pretty much.
Looking back, I am not sure how my body did that considering I had a C-section and swollen legs. I was just in mommy mode and determined to nurture my baby by any means. I wanted her to know that she was not alone and that she was safe. This experience along with my first year as a mother taught me to listen to my intuition and sometimes the professionals don’t know what they are talking about (not saying all but some really don’t). I know that I went through this for my own personal growth and to support other mothers in some way. This journey has supported me in connecting with the New LaToya that was birthed while utilizing my VOICE. My recovery time was longer than anticipated but that gave me a lot of time to connect with myself, reflect on the lessons that I have learned, and to understand my purpose on a deeper level. Womb work has been very helpful for me.
When you have a C-section your sacral chakra which is your seat of creativity is cut. You don’t really hear about the traumatic EMOTIONAL experiences that women face in relation to this. It is important for us as women and mothers to nurture ourselves and each other.
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